My name is Murrell, and I have a new goal in life...to appear on the Onion Sports Dome.  Who do you know that would be better at creating fake sports news stories that are also hilarious?  I've seen 2 episodes and I know that 1) I love the show and 2) I could add so much to it. 

Remember the letter I wrote to the Texas Rangers?  Here's that story in case you haven't heard it. 

After the Rangers traded Alex Rodriguez to the Yankees, they still had to pay him over $60 million remaining on his contract, even though he was playing for another team.  I wrote a letter to the Texas Rangers that basically said they were paying someone to NOT play baseball for them, and I wanted equal pay for equal work.  I wasn't going to NOT play baseball for the Texas Rangers for free anymore.  I even said that if it's worth $60 million to keep the best player in baseball off your team, how much more would be worth to keep a terrible player like me off your team.  I even game my career Little League stats to back me up.

Sadly, my reply was a generic form letter with a photo copy of the team catalog.  I wasn't even worth an original catalog.

The letter was smart and witty and funny and one of my greatest creative achievements.  It was both the best example of why I desperately need a girlfriend, and also the greatest example of why I don't have one.

I've realized that the best way for me to use these powers for good is to entertain the masses on a late night basic cable sports show with made up stories.

While I didn't care for their story about the teenager breaking the record for pleasuring himself, I did chuckle when they showed the top 5 performances in that area, and #3 was VP Joe Biden.  They had a "Girlfriends" segment where a game was broken down by the girlfriends of guys who were watching the game on TV.  One girl, discussing missed free throws by Derron Williams, said, "Why didn't he just move closer to basket?"  And when I was watching the story of Bill Belichek throwing acid in the face of Tom Brady, I nearly fell out of my chair from laughing so hard.

So there is my new goal in life...to be a regular on the Onion Sports Dome.  Feel free to start your Internet campaigns on my behalf.

Thank you for reading.  My name is Murrell.

PS
Sorry it's been so long since my last blog.

My name is Murrell, and I want to share some thoughts on what's been going on in the sports world.  When it comes to college sports, I've always been a loyal fan of the Indiana Hoosiers.  I was born Hoosier bred, I bleed Hoosier red, and I'll die Hoosier dead.  Now since IU has the 12th best winning percentage in college football among the 11 Big Ten teams (that's including Chicago who hasn't been a part of the conference in 80 years), I've never really had a horse in the race in the national title picture.  But I have to say that it drives me crazy when people say that college football is better off without a playoff system.  That's essentially saying that the NFL would be better without a Superbowl, baseball would be better without the World Series, or that 'The Office' would be better without Steve Carrell.  And nobody ever makes those arguments.  Sure, many Superbowls are blowouts, there are 4 game sweeps in the World Series, and every once in a while there's a 'Dinner Party' episode of the 'The Office' that's more uncomfortable that funny, but ultimately, we know who's the best in the end.

*random subject change*

Baseball has always been my favorite sport.  I've followed it at every level.  I've been as a Cubs fan as long as I can remember.  I loved Little League baseball so much as a kid I spent my summers working as the official scorer for the Little League where I grew up.  I found an appreciation for college baseball working for ESPN Radio in South Bend, working Notre Dame baseball games with Sean Stires.  And I've spent the last 2 years following the South Bend Silverhawks for the same radio station.  Baseball is just my thing.  I heard a discussion this week on baseball shortening its season and starting the playoffs in early September, and I have to tell you, it makes all the sense in the world to me.  Have your pennant races in August when there is little else going on in the sports world, and start your playoffs on Labor Day so that when football starts (and football is red hot right now) you're at least having meaning playoff games going head to head with football.  And I know the traditionalist baseball fans will say "but what about the records"  Well, the records don't mean anything anymore thanks to the steroid era.  Jim Thome is on the verge of home run #600 and no one cares. 

Thanks for reading.

First Blog Attempt

My name is Murrell, and this is my first attempt at a blog.  I don't know if anyone will ever read it, but hopefully people will.  It's just recently dawned on me that a blog could be beneficial, since my work on twitter and facebook, while awesome and hillarious, is limited to a certain number of characters on those sites.  Here I can just rant on and on and on and on without having to worry about character limits. 

Anyone who knows me is aware that my greatest loves are sports, comedy, and The Office.  That's what I'll try to deliver here.  Some insightful sports analysis, funny rants, and as many references to The Office as allowed by the law (and if there are laws limiting how many times I can reference The Office, I'm moving elsewhere.  I mean, I've mentioned it 3 times in this paragrahph.  What else am I supposed to reference?)

So I hope you enjoy my blog and my unique view of the world.  I'm already thinking of blog topic #2, which will most definitely be a college football rant.

Thanks for reading.